j™ is the most perfect guy i know.
he's tall and solid. not fat, not skinny, not even built. just solid. his arms are strong but not overly muscular. he's got the most perfectly messy black hair. he has green eyes, which i love, just the combination of dark hair and light eyes. he has perfect teeth and the greatest smile i've ever seen. seriously, it's like a capital d turned sideways. a smiley face smile with a straight line going across the top. perfection.
he has this gift of being able to say all the cute, perfect things that every girl wants to hear at the right time. unfortunately, every girl does
hear it at the right time. right for them, i mean. not for me.
and he tells me about those other girls. right before he says all those cute, perfect things to me.
for a while, we were even together. not dating
, but "dating." casual stuff. we hung out, made out. there were probably other girls then. i just didn't know about them.
i didn't need to. i was happy.
we were the couple that the term "making love" was coined for. he was sweet, tender. everything you read about in romance novels.
even though we weren't really "serious."
he is the
only guy i've ever felt that way
and then i made the mistake of telling him.
i guess he got skittish or something, 'cause that's about the time the other girls came into the conversations.
he never calls me just to hang out anymore.
and even though i love him, we never "make love" anymore, either.
except even when he calls me for sex, it isn't just about the sex. first, he wines me and dines me and makes with the perfect and cute.
i don't think that's something he does with other girls.
that's something i don't like to think about.
but even when he's with another girl, it's never for more than one night.
well, maybe two.
and once he gets whatever he has to say about the girls out of his system, he goes back to being cute and perfect.
the rest of the time, j™ is the best ever
at making me feel like shit about myself.